A Breath & A Smile
by thelonelyotakugirl
Summary: Sequel to "An Odd Conversation." "And what you are doing is utterly ridiculous."Arthur countered in the same manner. "You've forgiven me for my stupidity before…" Arthur gave a shaky breath. "Why can't I forgive yours?"


**Author's Note: **I present to you readers the sequel to "An Odd Conversation." :DD

I pat myself on the back for finally finishing this.

Anyways, hope you guys would be enjoying reading this.

And again, I'll take any offers who'd want to be my beta. So please just message me.

There would be many more Arthur/Merlin stories coming as well as Draco/ Harry & Sasuke/Naruto pairing stories. Though right now, I'm on a Arthur/Merlin writing obsession. :)

**Disclaimer: **I'm simply a college student being supported by a middle class family so, no, I definitely don't own Merlin... No matter how much I want Arthur & Merlin to get it on already. hahaha... :DD

**Warnings: **I've received my very first flame from my story "Dear, Mum" so **please read the warnings before you even attempt to read this! **Firstly, this is **SLASH. **Arthur & Merlin may be a bit **OOC** but since it's my story, you either read on or **click the back button. **There some **swearing** though not the heavy kinds. Angst, drama... That sort of rubbish as well. :]

And this isn't beta'ed. So any mistakes seen, please give clemency to this poor betaless author. :3

That's all so far... ^^

So enjoy! :3

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><p>"A Breath and A Smile"<p>

_And Merlin could only close his eyes._

"Arthur, I just don't love anymore." Merlin softly said. He sat up then cradled Arthur's head on his lap. "Sometimes, people's emotions change. We're humans." He petted Arthur's blonde hair. "We're so goddamn capricious, you know." Merlin said it as if he was talking to a child who couldn't comprehend the complexities of the world yet.

Arthur bitterly laughed, "Did I even asked if you love me still?" His tone was in a joking manner but Arthur gave Merlin a look of a confused and heartbroken man.

"No," Merlin blithely said then bit his lip. He looked away from Arthur.

The blonde gave a gloomy smile then said, "Since you're the one who brought love in this fucked up conversation then, I guess, you love me still deep inside." Arthur gave the boyish grin Merlin had fallen for even with the remnants of tears obvious on Arthur's face.

Merlin held Arthur's face, wiping the stained tears on his face then whispered, pleadingly, "That's not the point, Arthur."

"And what you are doing is utterly ridiculous."Arthur countered in the same manner. "You've forgiven me for my stupidity before…" Arthur gave a shaky breath. "Why can't I forgive yours?" Searchingly, he looked at Merlin if he got his point.

Merlin only gave a blank expression but deep inside he was frustrated. He wanted this to end already. The travesty between them has gone far too long. He's tired of being the goody-goody between the two. Being the saint who had to be so goddamn understanding with every fuck up that has happened in their relationship, big and small. Merlin was fuming. He wanted this to end… And also… And also… Merlin gave a small sigh. To prolong this would make things harder for them, especially to Arthur.

He wanted a clean break. He gave that to Arthur all those years ago. Why couldn't he give the same courtesy? Merlin pondered on why Arthur couldn't be those people who got angry with their cheating lovers and, ultimately, didn't want anything to do with said cheating lover? No. Arthur, Merlin had realized, just had to be one of the stupidly stubborn ones. Merlin clenched his teeth with annoyance. Those who were foolish and would turn a blind eye if that meant their cheating lover wouldn't leave them for the other person. Why is Arthur fighting so hard to keep Merlin by his side? When it was him in Arthur's position, he let him be because he knew how Arthur was! He was too much of a pighead sometimes… That sometimes… Arthur had to realize things on his own after being so incredibly prattish and downright _cruel_ to other people… to _him_. It was an excruciatingly painful period in Merlin's life…

But Merlin shook himself from remembering… It was in the past now… It did not matter in the now… So Merlin prayed to any deity or god that Arthur would just take the giant fucking hint… And let Merlin be… Like Merlin had kindly… understandingly been to Arthur… When Arthur had chosen to be with someone else other than Merlin once upon a time… Merlin fought back the tears as the residue of the dull ache he had once felt came back, tingling in his chest.

Merlin then felt drained with such thoughts; and, still, Arthur kept his place kneeling in front of Merlin with his head back on the raven's lap.

There was a stiffening silence for awhile then Merlin sighed.

"Arthur… With what I've done…" Merlin licked his dry lips. "The most logical thing to do is to break up. So what I'm saying is… Just stop this nonsense and let's just break up already." Merlin said this in the softest tone that would always make Arthur consider things when he would be bullheaded.

Arthur did not move from his position on the raven's lap then gave Merlin a hard look. "I refuse." He simply said. "You think things were going to go your way? You didn't think the world wasn't going to be a bitch to you too? Oh, believe you me, I got bitch slapped into my senses." He chuckled. "I know you can attest to that."

And the statement was supported with a faint blush gracing Merlin's porcelain cheeks.

"I'm not letting you go. Especially not to that drunkard." Arthur snarled. He moved his hands around Merlin's waist and held the pale man firmly against him. He rested his head on Merlin's beating heart as if it was going to give him the answers to the catastrophe that was happening between them. Arthur, again, gave a shaky breath. "I almost lost you once. Not again. If you think I'll just be a pushover and let you do what you want every time you said so then I must have spoiled you too much, Merlin."Arthur pressed himself over Merlin's heart. "I won't let go. No matter how diplomatic you make it or want it to be."

Solemnly, Merlin replied, "Arthur, you're so damn selfish that you won't let other people be selfish." Merlin then tried to pry Arthur's hold away from him out of spite to the other man but kept on failing.

"Well, like you said before… I made being a prat a calling." Arthur tightened his hold around his petite lover as Merlin kept struggling against him. He chuckled because he knew the action of the other male was futile.

Merlin stopped struggling. And silence once again engulfed the room.

"I just…" Arthur started.

Arthur then looked at Merlin with glassy eyes and cradled his face so that they were looking at each other. With prickling tears, Arthur softly said. "You forgave me… when I was an utter prat… You gave me a second chance when you didn't have to… I got back to my bloody senses when I heard you were engaged back then… To _him _of all people! I realized… you could walk away and move on just fine without me… And still, you allowed me to be with you again. Even with the fuck up I've done to you… _to us_." Arthur knew he was babbling. He held back a wretched sob that came with the memories of that _horrid, horrid event_ then continued. "And I'm scared that if I let you go again… There won't ever be an us again… Because I know you know what you want Merlin… And you could be just as stubborn as I am… And right now… I'm giving you no choice to be stubborn and leave me for another man!" He desperately implored to Merlin.

Merlin was surprised then tittered. "Are you making yourself so pitiful to me, Arthur Pendragon? That I'd probably feel guilty with the things you are saying right now?" Merlin didn't know whether to punch the man in front of him or kiss him senselessly. "That's an underhanded thing to do. When'd you learn such trickery?" He said it in a teasing tone. His mouth was slightly twitching. He wanted to smile in amusement but was trying to reel himself in.

"I'm a desperate man." Arthur unabashedly admitted. "And I want you stay with me. Cheat or no cheat, at the end of the day, you're still the one I want… And I know after everything… every bullshit we've been through… you'll… you'll still choose me in the end." Arthur cradled Merlin's delicate hands. Merlin then squeezed tightly for a moment on Arthur's. The blonde couldn't help but smile. And Merlin, hesitantly, returned the gesture in kind, with tears threatening to fall.

Arthur's hand slowly went to tuck in Merlin's hair behind his ears then held the raven's cheek. They looked at each other. Words were unsaid but understood.

Arthur opened his mouth, almost hesitant, and then said, "Please stay with me forever, Merlin. I'll make you the happiest man alive. I swear you to that." He said it so genuinely and so earnestly.

The tears fell and then came a shaky smile from Merlin. He only nodded in reply as Arthur engulfed him in a tight embrace, giving out one last shaky breath.

Both were relieved that history wasn't going to repeat itself.

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><p>If there are mistakes, please just inform me and point it out for me. :]<p>

Review & favorite this story if you feel the urge to or if this story deserves it or...

Author Alert me because this is a **one-shot.** Though I will be making a prequel to this.

But if you, dear readers, think this is better as is. Please do say so. I really like to hear feedback from you guys. :)

Thanks for reading this. :]


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